Preexisting Condition

I am really happy I have lots of nausea medicine because every time I hear about these proposed replacements for the Affordable Care Act I feel like vomiting.

And not like sarcastic vomiting but like “get out of my way I need the trashcan.”

The reason it is so scary for me is that because of my colon cancer I am now a preexisting condition.

Through no fault of my own either. I know that according to Representative Mo Brooks (R-Alabama) people without preexisting conditions are the ones who have “lived good lives” (literally what he said to Jake Tapper on CNN) but I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I don’t do drugs. I basically just sit there are wait to time to end. I exercise, I eat right. Hell I even go to church every Sunday and meditate seven days a week. (#brag) But nonetheless, a group of cells in my body decided to go all Rogue One: A Star Wars Story on me and get cancery. Because that’s what all the cool cells were doing I guess. I was like “no, don’t do that you’ll regret it one day” and they were all like “you’re not my dad” and I was like “we are literally thing same organism” and they were like “too late we’ve already mutated! We’re X-Men!”

And look I understand that insurance companies don’t want to pay for these drugs and tests and treatments. I get it. They’re fucking expensive. My surgery/week in the hospital was over $50,000. My MRI was over $13,000. I feel like I should send Ambetter a bouquet of roses and and a tube of KY. That being said, I didn’t want to pay my premium each month for the years I was healthy, but I did it. I’m sure when I was in college the manager of Shoney’s didn’t want to see me and all my stoned friends walk in and order the breakfast buffet, but he did it. Because that is the business you are in, and unlike my getting cancer- you chose it.

And yes I know the President has said that preexisting conditions will be covered. Then again five minutes later he said “I stand by nothing” so…yeah…

The new law will allow states to opt out of forcing insurers to cover people with pre-existing conditions, if they form high risk pools to cover us. And apparently we all swim in these high risk pools and forget about the fact that they are filled with other people’s urine and it will be amazing. Because the states will do a better job. That’s the argument. Just like they did with voting rights and gerrymandering their congressional districts.

Here is what I’m proposing: I understand tha

t this is a complicated issue with “a lot of ins a lot of outs a lot of what have you’s.” (#Lebowski.) I think the members of Congress who are trying to repeal the Affordable Care Act, instead of saying “people with preexisting conditions” they should use our names. Instead of Rep. Brooks saying that insurance companies should charge peoplewith preexisting conditions more to offset the cost for those “who have led good lives” he should have to say “David Lee Nelson should be charged more to offset the cost for those who have lived good lives.” Or Your Grandmother’s Name. Or Your Sister’s Name. Or Your Friend’s Name. Or Your Neighbors Name.

The truth is, like it or not, we are all in this together. Because we all have a preexisting condition: it’s called being human.

And you get it through no fault of your own.