The Bachelorette

I used to be productive on treatment days. I would pull out my computer, write blogs, catch up on correspondence. Now they barely wake me up to change my medicine. They give me Benadryl as one of my premeds. It’s meant to prevent allergic reactions such as rashes, or being awake.

So now I just sit there for a half an hour, pass out, and wake up when it’s done. Then I get home and nap, wake up for an hour and a half in the early evening, and then sleep the rest of the night. All in all, it’s not a bad way to handle a day of treatment.

During the hour I was up, Jaimie and I decided to be productive and watch the season finale of The Bachelorette. It was our guilty pleasure on vacation and chemo or no chemo, we were desperate to see how it ended.

If you haven’t see it yet, you can keep reading. I’m not going to post spoilers, but rather my overall feels about the show itself.

This was my first time watching The Bachelorette, or The Bachelor for that matter. My sister Rachel has been obsessed for years but I just thought that was her thing, something I wouldn’t have much interest in. After watching the Men Tell All episode on our first day of vacation, Jaimie and I decided to binge the entire season.

It had an immediate impact on how we speak to each other. Our use of the word “Clarity” has gone up 432%. Also increased are the phrases, “I want to know your heart” and “I just need closure.”

First off all, being on that show would be my nightmare. Trying to compete for the attention of a woman against 30 other guys? After 15 minutes my ego would be like, “Fuck her,” and I’d start hitting on the women doing hair and make up. I’d be all like, “You come here often?” They’d be like, “You mean my job? Pay attention to Hannah.”

But how do you pay attention to Hannah when there are thirty guys dripping in front of you? How do you make an impression in a short amount of time without being a corny or a a cheese dick? Then if you do like her, if you do make a connection, you have to know that she’s been “connecting” with 15 other dudes within the hour. I’d be like, “You know who isn’t connecting with 15 dudes an hour? The make up lady. Where is she and what was her name again?”

Heaven forbid you move on the game, because then you start to fall in love with the woman, who at the same time is falling in love with other people. It was clear from the final three contestants that they all loved each other, and yet because this is a game she’s got to break up with people she’s not ready to break up with, and then enter an engagement with someone while having to grieve people on the side. It’s horrible!

I understand why people watch it, it’s dramatic AF. But it’s dramatic AF with people’s hearts. We can rail on football and how violent it is all you want, but The Bachelorette is just as violent with people’s emotions! Sure a football player might have knee problems but some of these Bachelors will never be able to love again! They’re playing a brutal sport too!

And how can we trust a person to make the right decision with all that pressure and cameras in your face. Just this past Saturday we were at a bar and Jaimie made a hasty decision about a drink and would up hating it. Same thing with Hannah! It might be a way to entertain millions of people but it’s not a way to choose love.

And in case you’re wondering the answer is yes, I will be glued to Bachelors in Paradise next week, and either Mike or Peter would make excellent Bachelors.

As much as I hate to admit it, I’ll be there watching it.