Early this week, the lovely people at Bon Secours shared an article about the impromptu wedding they threw for Jaimie and I on March 20, 2020.
An impromptu wedding. How many people get to write a sentence like that?
It was so fun reading the article and looking at the pictures. It was truly one of the more surreal experiences of my life, and yes, I have watched Tiger King.
To tell you the truth, I was shocked by the pictures. They were so unbelievably beautiful. I know that seems like a weird thing to say about one’s own wedding, but considering how “thrown together” this thing was?? The pics were taken on iPhones. My dad and my sister Facetimed with Jaimie so she could pick out a dress. Not a new dress mind you, bought and adjusted specifically for this occasion, but one from her closet. A dress she’s worn a hundred times before. A dress that had no idea it would ever see a wedding day. I didn’t have a belt. My shirt was wrinkled. The only reason I had a tie is because I stole one from Adam Knight for the opening performance of Stages and never returned it.
And to top it all off, I was wearing my Chuck Taylor’s from two seasons ago!
Yet we didn’t let any of that stop us. We had a wedding. We got married. And Jaimie looked as beautiful in that dress from the closet as she would have looked in a piece made by Vera Wang herself. My old shoes didn’t keep me from spinning Jaimie around on the dance floor. My lack of belt didn’t stop me from saying “I do” in front of a room full of strangers in the wing of a floor of a hospital meant for cancer patients at the beginning of a worldwide lockdown. And while of course I am sad that my friends and family weren’t there to witness it, there was something amazing about having a wedding that is impossible to duplicate. Makes me feel cool and edgy. Turns out you can’t take the artsy theatre kid out of me if you try.
Reading the article also made me realize that something deeper was at work.
A friend of mine and her partner got some unexpected bad news this week. I sent an email, letting them know I was here, whatever they needed, and she responded by saying they were living in, “Radical acceptance of what truly is.”
I read the sentence a couple of times. What a beautiful idea. A radical acceptance of what truly is. In a way, that’s been the defining ethos of my life and career, not that I was ever truly aware of it.
When I moved to LA out of graduate school I had to accept my place in the eco-system of actors and realize it was way at the bottom. If I was going to survive, I had to create some sort of alternate path. So I scrapped the idea of me as a classical actor and wrote stand up. That was good for a while, but when stand up no longer made me happy, I went back to the theatre. Then when New York stopped working, I headed back down south. When Charleston stopped working- Atlanta. When Atlanta stopped working- Greenville. Even with the cancer treatments. I couldn’t perform the way I used to so I started writing the blog. That became another play. Now that’s become a book. Who knows what crazy adventures are next.
I realize how lucky I am. I’ve always had the support of a big loving family. I’ve always had friends to encourage me. And now I have Jaimie. Reaching out her hand, reminding me that while something isn’t perfect, it might be perfect for us.
Even with the back pain and radiation that threw off any hope for a honeymoon, we were given the lockdown and social distancing. These are things I would wish on no one and take away immediately if I could, but they’ve given Jaimie and I the gift of time. The one thing we can never get back. It’s given us space away from the world. What an amazing way to start this next phase of our lives. As Mr. And Mrs. I can’t think of any wedding present more beautiful than that.
Here's the link to the article! Enjoy!