In the middle of last night, I started thinking about life. Trust me, I would rather have been sleeping. I woke up at about 4 to use the rest room and couldn’t get back to sleep. That had been a recurring theme for me a few months back. Between the steroids and the coughing, somewhere in the middle of every night I would wake up spend an hour staring at the ceiling. That hasn’t been an issue recently. Because I’ve been feeling better starting this new treatment, and because I

One of the challenges of a cancer diagnosis is not thinking every that’s wrong with you is related to what you’ve got. The other night I turned to Jaimie and was like, “Is this progression??” She was like, “It’s a hang nail.” And I screamed, “You’re point???” _______ I’ve been in a good mood recently. I’ve been feeling better physically, so that certainly improves my outlook. I’ve been like, “Why am I so happy??? Oh because my ribs don’t hurt from coughing!” I think the main

“I made a list. Everything that’s brilliant about the world.” I’ve been in my office these past two weeks, sitting at my desk, relearning Every Brilliant Thing. The story, for those who don’t know, is about a guy who has a mother that is dealing with severe depression, and in an attempt to cheer her up, he writes a list of everything he finds brilliant about the world. Ever since my diagnosis I’ve become much more aware of the things I love about life. Rehearsing this play on

When I was in high school, some friends and I would celebrate special holidays. I’m not talking about the big ones- Veteran’s Day, President’s Day, Groundhog’s Day. I’m talking about those that are more esoteric: National Pancake Day. Happy Buzzard Day. And everyone’s favorite, Wear Your Pajamas to Work Day. We would make buttons. I would proudly wear them on my thrift store navy blue corduroy jacket. If the day was a celebration of a certain food- say French Fries or Animal

This morning, I had a bit of a perfect moment. I had an appointment with my therapist at 10, and for some reason I asked him if he wanted me to bring him a coffee. I don’t know why I asked if he wanted a coffee. I’m sure it was breaking some patient/client rule. You know, he promises not to disclose what I tell him, and I promise not to bring him hot caffeinated beverages. Part of me thinks I might be the first patient to ever offer him coffee, because his was response was an

We got to Emory at 8am yesterday morning. It was really cold. “I’m sick of winter,” Jaimie said, shivering in the front seat. “It’s still fall,” I reminded her. “SHUP UP!!!!” she replied, on the verge of tears. I checked in for labs. Much to my chagrin, the same violinist from three weeks ago was outside the lobby of the lab room. For an hour I got to listen to the most depressing version of “I Can’t Help Falling in Love With You” known to man, and a rendition of "Silent Nigh

“So think of HER-2 as a megaphone.” This was my oncologist a couple of weeks ago, attempting to explain how the clinical trial I’m on works. I sat up in my chair, intrigued by how he was going to compare a growth protein to a megaphone. “What HER-2 does is it shouts messages to the rest of the cells, like a megaphone. Everybody has HER-2, you just seem to have too much of it. So the first drug they’re going to give you is going to try and cover it up so the messages can’t get

There’s this new bagel place near my house. When I first saw it I was excited and skeptical. Excited because there are few things I love more than a good bagel. Skeptical because while I do not buy the premise that New York is the greatest city in the world, when it comes to bagels- they are. There was a bagel store right next to my subway stop, and those doughy circles of goodness fueled my decade in the city. In the six years I’ve been gone I have yet to find anything that

I had the opportunity to participate in LowVelo down in Charleston over the weekend. LowVelo is bicycling event and a huge fundraiser for the Hollings Cancer Center at MUSC. Participants ride either 25, 50, or 100 miles, and people pledge money for every mile ridden. They raised almost a million dollars, all of which will go towards cancer research. As someone who benefits from cancer research, this is amazing. The race was on Saturday, and I was going to be speaking at the w

It was cold this morning, so I busted out my winter coat from my closet. And by closet I mean the back of Jaimie's car because that's where it's been living. It reminded me of a blog I wrote a few years ago, and I thought I would share that with you all here: Even though it’s this first day of summer, my mind has been on winter. Coats specifically. I used to play this game in New York when it first got cold called- What’s in Davey’s Pocket? Here are the rules: I stick my hand