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What the F is That????

June 7, 2019

I’m in Montana. It’s true what they say- the sky really is big out here. I wonder who was the first person to say that out loud. It’s kind of a weird thing to notice:

 

Person 1: Promise not to think I’m crazy. 

Person 2: I promise not to think you’re crazy. 

Person 1: The sky here. It’s like really…big…

Person 2: (Gasp) I thought it was just me! 

 

Camp Mak a Dream is about 60 miles east of Missoula, and the drive is just stunning. Grassy mountains dotted with evergreen trees. Snow capped peaks out in the distance. The first thing I thought is that it looked like Austria. Or Ireland. But why do I do that? Why do I always compare one scenery to something else? This looks like Montana. That should be perfect enough.

 

The show ended at about 8:45 last night, and after chatting for a few I hit the road at 9:30. I walked to my car and it was cold and windy. Now the wind is an important factor in what I’m about to tell you. Keep that in mind. In fact it was so cold and windy that I had to run to my car, which led to a five minute coughing fit before I could pull away.

 

After I calmed myself, I headed down the mountain. 

 

The sun doesn’t set here this time of the year until after 10pm. As I drove back to Missoula this beautiful grey light made the grassy mountains dotted with evergreen trees all the more beautiful. 

 

A river runs along the highway from the Camp to Missoula. As the road twists and turns through the mountains, the water rolls along with you. 

 

I had been driving for about half an hour when I came to one of those turns in the road. I stared at the river and imagined how nice it would be to be on a tube just floating along. Then I remembered it was freezing and windy outside and that fantasy quickly went away. 

 

That’s when something in the distance caught my eye. 

 

It looked like a person standing by the water. That’s pretty big for a person, I thought. As I got closer my eyes got bigger. Was that? No. It couldn’t be. But shit it looks just like it. My heart started to beat super fast. I leaned forward in my chair. I turned down my music. 

 

“What the fuck- is that Big Foot??” 

 

I literally said that out loud. The reason I said it out loud is because that’s what I thought I saw. For about 3 seconds, I was convinced I was seeing Big Foot. Yeti. Whatever you want to call it. It looked just like those picture I’ve seen. Grainy. Big. Slightly hunched over. Angrily looking at the person taking the photo. What should I do? Stopping was not an option. It would rip my arms off. But shouldn’t I take a picture? No one would believe me otherwise. Maybe a couple of my conspiracy theory friends, but they’re mostly crazy. What did this mean? If Big Foot was real what else was true? How was I going to live my life going forward? Would I tell Jaimie? Would she believe me? Would anyone believe me ever again. The moment of truth was almost upon me. My car was barreling towards this beast that seemed to be headed right towards me!

 

I opened my eyes as wide as they could go and that’s when I saw the truth. It wasn’t Big Foot. It was one of those evergreen trees. The wind made it look like it was moving towards me. The grey light made the shape look like a combo between a man and an ape. 

 

I spent the next few miles feeling pretty stupid. I couldn’t believe I legitimately thought I had seen Big Foot. But as the darkness finally enveloped the mountains around me, I was glad that for a few seconds I thought I had seen something out of the ordinary. For three seconds I really thought that Big Foot was real. 

 

Not every day a person gets to think that. 

 

 

 

 

 

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