You want to feel old? Go teach high school. A student told me I had a good Facebook Mom Meme energy. I had no idea what that meant, but I failed them immediately.
Students usually like to wear a new outfit for the first day of school. I know I did. I’d have a crisp new shirt from Marshalls. Some pants from TJ MAxx. But I teach at a performing arts high school, so my students new outfits consist of mismatched socks and head bands topped with cat ears. I was like, “You all look great in ways I’m sure your none of your parents approve of.”
Not that I didn’t do weird things as a teenager. I had a friend in high school who had a button maker. So she would make us daily buttons, wishing people a happy whatever esoteric holiday was happening that day.
January 12 would be Happy Curried Chicken Day.
February 5 would be Happy Weatherperson’s Day.
March 11 was a big one. That was Happy Napping Day. Followed by Happy Bookmobile Day, Happy Pecan Day, and everyone’s favorite, Happy Wear Pajamas to Work Day.
I think it’s safe to assume that I did not have sex until college.
But the fact that my student said I had a Facebook Mom Meme energy makes total sense. I’m as old as her fucking mom! So of course we have similar energies. Not having kids, I lose track of how old I am. I’m out there amongst other adults so I assume everyone is rocking NPR. I assume no one knows what Tick Tock is. I assume everyone was born well before 9/11.
Not in high school! Here we have a full blown class of humans who born 5-7 years AFTER Seinfeld ended. Can you believe it? They’re out here driving cars and working at Publix and they never experienced hearing Prince describe partying like it’s 1999 as an aspirational event! For all of high school and most of college I would hear that song and think, “One day!”
But for them it’s already happened! What are their aspirational party anthems? “We’re Gonna Party Like Climate Change is Going to End us All!”
So I’ve decided I’m going to turn the tide! If they make fun of me for being 40, and by 40 I mean 41, I’m going to remind them of their “Still have a curfew energy.” Or ask them how the “Permission slip” phase of their life is going. Or perhaps see how they liked the new Quinten Tarantino movie except, oh wait, it’s rated R, you’re not old enough to see it! Hahahahaha! Total burn! You just got faced!
Of course they’d probably just look at me and say, “You just got faced? 2011 called, they want their insult back.” And I’d nothing to do, except say, “Yeah, that was a good one. This is what I get for teaching creative kids. Now if you need me I’ll be listening to All Things Considered. Don’t worry, you’ll know what that means one day.”
Are teenagers making you feel old? Feel free to leave your own experiences in the comments. And if you like this post please, like and share! New blogs Monday-Friday!