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The Revolution Will Be Golf Carted

There had to have been a time. And a why. And a place for that matter. Some reason, some event that took the golf carts off of the course and put them literally everywhere in God’s known universe.

Even though I do live in South Carolina. That could be a factor. Do I happen to live in the golf cart capital of the world? The Palmetto State and Florida? Do I have any friends or readers in Oregon that want to comment on the golf cart situation out west? Are protesters in Portland getting thrown into the back of military grade golf carts with camouflage and decked out wheels?

My family is currently starting our second full day of vacation at Surfside Beach, a little town just south of the Myrtles. This stands to be somewhat of a ground zero for golf carts, but our neighborhood in Greenville, in upstate South Carolina, is just as bad. It feels like everyone there has a cart. And it’s not like these things are cheap. They’re not giving them away. These things run thousands of dollars. One could buy a used Ford Focus and actually take it places for the amount of money people are spending on these little zoom zooms that serve no other purpose but to zip around the neighborhood.

What is this allure to the golf cart? It’s there. It’s palpable. You can feel it. My friend Becca, from whose family we are using the house, let us know about a golf cart rental place at the entrance of the complex and as soon as the idea was floated it was a center piece of our entire vacation. For $300 a week, in addition to our cars and our bikes, we had an electric mode of transportation.

The first day we were here we couldn’t rent the cart because it was Sunday and the rental place closed at noon. We took one of our cars to the beach and I suggested, a loud, if we really needed to rent a cart. Perhaps we could walk and use the transportation that we had provided for ourselves. The bikes and the cars. The suggestion was met with such incredible hostility from Jaimie and my family. It was hilarious. It was as if I suggested turning around and heading back home. I quickly apologized for such a radical suggestion and handed over my share of the golf cart rental.

So today the golf cart made its maiden voyage. Jaimie drove. Her smile grew exponentially as she backed up. The little shock when the cart backed up and we were on our way. My sister and my mom acting as our review mirrors as they sat in the back. My other sister also had to take my Escape, which we call could have fit in, but that isn’t the point. Maybe the point of he cart is just for fun. Maybe there is no practical purpose. Maybe it’s just to slow down and ride with the breeze, close to the road.

Do I really need a better reason than that?

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