At the end of my play STAGES, I say that one of the things that having cancer has changed is the way people ask me how I’m doing. We say “How you doing” to each other all the time, but does anyone really mean it? Can you imagine being in your office, saying “How you doing” to the person next to you, and they respond with, “Well, now that you asked…” I’m having a panic attack just thinking about it. But for the past two and a half years, when people ask me how I’m doing, they’

Today's post is Part 2 of my journey to the Spa Castle. If you didn't read part one, I suggest you do so now. https://www.davidleenelson.com/single-post/2019/07/09/Spa-Castle-Part-1 __________________ It’s not that I have a problem with my body. My first professional theatre job was at an outdoor drama in North Carolina and we lived in dorms with communal showers. My junior year of college I played Prior in Angels in America and had to do a full frontal nudity. At the same ti

A memory popped into my head the other day. I’ve talked about it many times, but don’t know if I’ve ever fully written it out. It was a really odd day in the middle of my time in New York City. It’s a two part story that I’ll tell today and tomorrow. Hope you enjoy it. _____________________ A little over ten years ago, my friend had her 30th birthday at a place called Spa Castle. It’s a Korean Day spa way the fuck out in Queens. And by way the fuck out, I mean WAY the fuck ou

It’s been about six months since I stepped foot inside of a church. It was a conscious decision I made. Two weeks in a row the priest had given an anger filled sermon, and I started questioning the value of having my experience of a high power filtered through such a lens. So I decided to stop going. There were years in my twenties when I didn’t go to church, but that was the height of my drinking days and I really didn’t believe anything outside of myself existed. But I walk

When did I become so averse to crowds? That is what I texted my friend John Weeks yesterday afternoon. His response was it probably happened about the same time his greatest fear became hot cinder ash hitting him in the eye ball. I took that to mean he was manning the grille. In news I’m breaking here, yesterday was the Fourth of July. Jaimie and I spent the morning eating pancakes trying, deciding what to do, yet in the back of my head all I could think about was the heat an

If you haven’t experienced a Fourth of July on a roof top in New York City, I highly suggest you do it. I was lucky enough to experience ten of them, and loved everyone. It’s an odd holiday in the New York. Most of the rich people are in the Hamptons, or wherever the rich people go when the weather gets hot. So the place always felt kind of empty in a weird way. Also, the activity takes place at night, so you’ve got the entire day to make plans, stay cool, and not get too dru

“Can you please bring me coffee. I’m dying!” This was the first message I got from Jaimie this morning. I forgot to buy her sugar for her tea so she had to get through the first half of work without caffeine. That’s a torture that no one should be subjected to, especially a pre-school teacher like Jaimie. So Day 3 of Self Care started with a trip to Starbucks to get Jaimie coffee. It was kind of perfect. I felt like I had a purpose. Apparently I only feel useful when I’m doin

self-care /ˌselfˈker/ noun the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one's own health. I started my month of self care yesterday by getting chemo and sleeping for over 20 hours. I also threw up twice in the during that time. Which didn’t feel like self care at the time, but did once it was over. Now I’m on Day 2. I guess the first step in self care is doing what you want to do? I’m trying to let that be my guide. But that can be confusing. During the two hours I

Today is July 1. I’ve had this day circled on my calendar for a while. See, June was incredibly busy. I had chemo, shows in Montana, shows in Arkansas, shows in Greenville. MC’ing the Cancer Survivors Day event. It was fun, but it was a lot. Yesterday was the last day of STAGES, and there is nothing on the calendar for July, aside from the the three chemo treatments, so this is the month I am supposed to relax. To self care. To heal. The thing is, I still don’t know what that